How to Help Out
“Getting young men to show up is the hardest part. In The Gambia young men are expected to do this and they go willingly and courageously into the bush. But I’ve learned over the years that young men here rarely if ever choose to do this on their own. But they often respond to a personal invitation from someone like you - a friend, a father, a trusted mentor – who has made the rites himself and who can speak to the impact and need. ”
Are you the father, uncle, teacher, mentor or coach of a young man between the ages of 18 and 28 that you know is ready for initiation into the first half of life?
Would you be willing to invite and encourage him to register? Check out our talking points to help you have that conversation.
When you made your rites did the thought cross your mind that this needs to be offered to younger men? Would you like to be a part of making that happen? Check out our staff page.
Would like to be part of the Returning Initiated Men (RIM), join the team or help out in other ways? Please contact Dan Harris to explore these options.
Would you be willing to sponsor a young man or make a contribution to this YMROP?
Sponsor a Young Man to attend the Young Men’s Rites of Passage
Participant registration fees to not cover the whole cost of the YMROP. We need to raise about $7,000 to meet the total cost of the YMROP.
A Note from Joel Blunk
Ismaila is originally from The Gambia, West Africa. We met on retreat at Richmond Hill a few years ago. I was hosting and he offered to help me do the dishes after lunch. As we worked together, he told me about his boyhood in The Gambia and what he remembers about the traditional rite of passage he participated in as a Mandika.
Some of you will recall that Alex Haley traced his roots back to the same tribe. Kunta Kinta, a proud Mandika warrior, was captured as a teenager by slave traders and brought against his will to this country in the 18th century. Roots chronicles Haley’s family story from Africa through southern slavery, Reconstruction, Jim Crow and beyond. Ismaila told me that his family watches the award winning 1970’s miniseries often.
Isamaila’s story struck a chord with me. My son Andy, who has spent significant time in The Gambia himself, eagerly told me, after one of his trips there, about an experience he had attending a reincorporation ceremony for over ninety young initiates who had just completed their rites of passage. Remarkably, he said, tens of thousands showed up to celebrate their return as men.
Since becoming a father nearly 30 years ago, I have had a strong interest in rites of passage and initiatory experiences. Holding my son for the first time, which was an initiatory experience itself, I was overcome with both joy and trepidation. What did I know about fatherhood and helping a boy become a man? Unlike Ismaila, my own community had done very little to prepare me for mature adulthood and offered very little in the way of substantive help for raising boys to men.
In the fall of 2006, I made my rites in the Catskills of Upstate New York. The experience changed my life. It affirmed several things I had only an inkling of and it set me on a trajectory that I continue to follow.
I’ve learned that male rites of passage are primarily about power. The abuse of which runs rampant today. Gun violence, sexual assault, greed and war are disproportionately male issues. In male initiation rites the initiate is ritually stripped of his power in order to see how it can be used for good rather than ill. As the African proverb goes, “If we don’t initiate the boys, they will burn the village down.” Ultimately, the initiate receives the message that his life is not about him, but he is meant for life. The gift he brings back is his authentic self and his potential to benefit the world.
Chances are if you’re reading this you’ve made your rites too and you know firsthand what I’m talking about regarding power, maturity, and the life changing impact formal initiation can have.
I attended my own rites of passage in part to prepare me to offer something similar to my three sons who were soon coming of age. I didn’t want them to be 44 years old before having a similar experience. Within two years, friends and I were offering The Crossings, a young men’s rites of passage intended to mark the move to manhood for younger males. That continued until the start of the pandemic. Today I’m collaborating with Jim Taylor, who has also developed a version of young men’s rites that have been offered in England and Australia, and here at home. He generously invited me to join him in leading them in Texas and again last summer in Minnesota, along with a team of experienced Illuman elders. This May they will be offered in the Blue Ridge Mountains of West Virginia where I now call home.
We’ve got a solid group of initiated men - and now young men - to lead and facilitate them. And though space is limited, we still have room for more initiates. Getting young men to show up is the hardest part. In The Gambia young men are expected to do this and they go willingly and courageously into the bush. But I’ve learned over the years that young men here rarely if ever choose to do this on their own. But they often respond to a personal invitation from someone like you - a friend, a father, a trusted mentor – who has made the rites himself and who can speak to the impact and need.
Richard Rohr’s vision for the rites included a dream that in five generations they will be commonplace in our culture once again. The only way for that to happen is for us to begin initiating the next generation today. Before we know it, I suspect they will be offering the same to their sons…and to theirs. Who knows, maybe someday there will be tens of thousands gathered to welcome them back. But for now, we can humbly do that ourselves as Returning Initiated Men who show up at the time of reincorporation to receive them, bless them and send them forth into the world for good.
Joseph Campbell said that the significance of initiation is not found in the initiatory event itself, but in the boon one brings back for their people.
Our communities are hungry for that. And we can help make it happen.
- Joel Blunk