First Rites:  Young Men Rising!

For Boys 13 – 15 Years of Age
October 7 - 9, 2023
Rolling Ridge, West Virginia

Life is a journey. A wonderful and difficult journey! At times each of us, no matter where we are on our journey, can feel lost, unsure of which next step to take at the inevitable fork in the road. These inflection points can seem more prevalent -- and daunting -- during transitional times in our lives, such as stepping from boyhood to adolescence. And there doesn’t have to be a huge decision for it to be tough!

Navigating this natural transformation – usually between the ages of 13-15 - in the midst of rapid cultural, political, and technological change – can seem downright bewildering, especially if you are trying to navigate it alone. But the good news is that you do not have to go it alone! In addition to parents/guardians, mentors, coaches, and others, you can find support from a global brotherhood of men who understand and care. You can also find support from peers who share common experiences. While manhood does not come with a manual, it does help immensely to share deeply with guys of the same age and receive lessons from men who are further along on their journeys.

Rites of Passage

First Rites - Young Men Rising  will equip and empower young teen guys to transition from boyhood to adolescence in ways that honor and facilitate their emotional, psychological, and spiritual growth.

Illuman East Coast, in conjunction with Nicky Wilks of Journeymen (Vashon Island, WA), will facilitate this vital experience October 7 - 9, 2023 at Rolling Ridge, WVA.  Our purpose is to guide the rising generation of men to discover their  authentic gifts, create a strong vision for their future, and fully engage in their world through meaningful service and effective, heart-centered action. 

And it will be fun!  You’ll make new friends – guys you can actually talk to about what’s real in your life..

What are Rites of Passage Experiences? 

How are they relevant to today’s young teens?

Resilient, vibrant societies from the past have traditionally upheld ceremonial initiation experiences to welcome youth into adulthood. These rites of passage experiences were vital to the health of young men and the health of their wider societies. However, most youth in modern, Western society will never experience an intentional Rite of Passage, making boys and young men susceptible to misguided, even harmful, influences in their search for meaning and manhood. Boys need healthy challenges and structured times to reflect on who they are and who they want to become.  Lacking intentional rites of initiation, boys will try to initiate themselves and each other in risky ways with sometimes devastating results.  This is especially true at a time when guys suffer from negative stereotypes about being males, but lack role models for what it means to be a healthy, modern man.   Boys and young men often face tremendous pressure to fit into a media-driven “Man Box,” that is actually an unhealthy and inauthentic image of manhood.

 Transformation around the ages of 13-15 is often marked by healthy and normative experiences of  sports, scouting, religious confirmation, and moving from middle to high school. But it can also be marked by drug use, acting out, premature sexual activity, and separation from healthy norms, rhythms, and relationships. These negative pursuits can happen because there are inadequate outlets for the emotions and needs that rise up due to challenges of transition at this stage in life.

To encourage boys to choose better outlets - AND to offer them a much bigger vision for life, service, and community - they need intentional structures, times, and challenges to support exploration and self awareness. They need experiences and spaces created and nurtured by elders. They need safe, trustworthy invitations to explore feelings, questions, and needs. First Rites - Young Men Rising – challenges boys to explore (and have fun!)  in community with peers. First Rites  will help boys define how they pursue growth, community, and relationships

Guiding Convictions

First Rites – Young Men Rising – will be grounded in these core understandings:

Nature is a powerful teacher: We look to our external and internal environments for inspiration, wisdom, and guidance. Finding our place in nature is both fun and healthy, and we don’t have to venture deep into the wilderness to remember our connection.

Growth requires discomfort, not pain: Balancing healthy risk with safety is where this work shines. To find and step into our personal growing edges is empowering.  We accept and dial ourselves into appropriate challenges that move us more deeply into our true selves.

We are not alone: Young men need not navigate the challenges of adolescence on their own, or together only with other young adolescents. A staff of supportive, trained men, who have walked a similar walk, are attuned to support boys along their journeys.

Integration brings it home:  Ongoing support and engagement creates lasting change in us and in our communities. In a world of abundant “peak” experiences, the real work happens everyday, and support extends long after the last day of camp.

First Rites encourage boys to recognize and tap into their inherently spiritual nature, but we are not connected to any specific faith or religion.  Parents and community have the responsibility to educate and shape their sons’ understanding of how they belong in and connect to the universe. 

The First Rites Experience

We will send directions, detailed packing list and other information after registration. 

Boys will be camping outdoors for the three days.  Nourishing, healthy meals are included.

We can accommodate GF and vegetarian diets. 

Frequently Asked Questions
for Dads, Moms and Boys

Dads

 What if I am a dad and have no experience of Rites of Passage?

  • Illuman men would be happy to chat by phone or zoom.  If you heard about this from a man active in Illuman, ask him about his own rites of passage.  Otherwise, email youngilluman@icloud.com and a man will set up a time to talk.

  • Read Adam’s Return,  Richard Rohr’s seminal book on contemporary rites of passage

  • Be curious with your son about rites of passage and why they were so vital to the survival of earlier societies. 

  • You can talk about your own transition at his age.

  • Look into the Illuman Father-Son Weekend (to be scheduled)

Moms

Will my son be safe? 

  • The safety of your son is our highest value. Supervision by two or more adult male staff members will occur throughout the entire experience.   We have taken care to ensure your son’s physical security and all members of staff have submitted to background checks. 

Why should he do rites of passage?

  • The rites involve a time of separation from life as usual. They will be conducted in the world of nature and will challenge your son as he bonds with other boys and men through games, rituals and councils.  These experiences are designed to increase his sense of personal competence and agency as he learns to trust himself in ever deeper ways.  .

  • Boys need to be with healthy men who are honest about their own imperfections – men who can model what it means to be comfortable in a masculine identity, encouraging boys to define for their own time what it means to respect themselves and others (especially women) as self-identified males.

  • These Rites of Passage affirm that your son is making an intentional transition in which he has both agency and responsibility for the outcomes.

  • First Rites is not in place of, but complementary to, other rites of passage, such as Confirmation, Bar Mitzvah and Scouts.

  • This is not for everyone.  If your son is not yet mature enough, let’s stay in touch.

Guys

I’m a teenage guy and I am not sure about this!

 We have designed this camp to be fun and to connect you with other guys your age.  Overcoming challenges and sharing experiences in nature tends to create real bonds.

In our experience, guys come out of these rites with greater self-awareness, self-confidence and readiness to meet the challenges of growing into young manhood. You are “Young Men Rising!” 

This must be your decision. You’re welcome to have a conversation with a member of  Illuman staff to explore your questions and concerns.  Email youngilluman@icloud.com to set up a call.

  • No one from Illuman will pressure you to do this!  Boys who are not ready are not likely to gain the full benefits and may keep other guys from having fun and making friends.

  • Who is suggesting you should consider First Rites?  Have an honest conversation about your doubts or concerns.

  • Be sure to check out the testimonials

REFERENCES

How can I learn more about Initiation and Rites of Passage?

Other references:  there are several current books on the “boy crisis.” 

  • Better Boys, Better Men by Andrew Reiner - chapter 2  “Boys to Men”

  • Of Boys and Men by Richard Reeves is an overview with policy proposals